Season 7 Game of Zones Premier: What You Missed.


Yesterday, Bleacher Report released the Season 7 Premiere of Game of Zones. Game of Zones is known for its creativity and small details, however, many of them go unnoticed when watching. Below I will list some of the small details that you may have missed when watching Game of Zones.

Bizarre Tasks

Shaquille O’Neal hands Dwyane Wade a scroll and asks him to complete an investigation on the injury of a horse. On the scroll there is a list of other tasks people have to complete.

Charles Barkley is assigned to be the Donut Courier. Barkley talks about his love for donuts constantly. He was even given 53 donuts for his 53rd birthday.

Bill Walton supervises Matt Barnes growing herbs. Bill Walton smoked a lot of weed and is known as a heavy pro-marijuana advocate. Similarly, Matt Barnes smokes weed so Walton is some sort of a mentor to Barnes.

Jalen Rose has to level his hairline. Wade tweeted that Jalen Rose has the best hairline in the NBA even though he is “117 years old”. Others followed up with this by saying Rose uses product to make it look better.

Mock Trade

When Brian Windhorst and Dwyane Wade are walking to Windhorst’s basketball room, they pass a wall with a mock trade. The trade has the Celtics getting Kyrie Irving and Jarrett Allen, the Warriors receiving Kevin Durant, and the Nets getting Kemba Walker, Jayson Tatum, Andrew Wiggins and Kevon Looney. The trade would bring Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant back to their old teams. Irving and Durant teamed up in Brooklyn, with Irving leaving the Celtics and KD the Warriors. Additionally, the trade would also bring Tatum to Brooklyn, where he would have gone had Brooklyn not traded away all their picks. In the NBA trade machine the Celtics and Nets projected win totals decrease by eight, whereas, the Warriors win total rises by 14.

Windhorst’s Room

Brian Windhorst has a Basketball Reference room where he has thousands of books in different sections. The sections include: Gossip. Beefs. NBA Refs. Basic Analytics. Advanced Analytics. Very Advanced Analytics. Power Rankings. Trade Rumors. Knight Profiles. Free Agency Special. Charges. Draft Day Projections. Salary Cap Info. Box Scores. Contracts. Knight Fun Facts. Blocks. Off-Court dramas. Puff pieces. Chris Brousard fiction. Memes. Metta World Travel. Van Gundian Rants. 

In addition, the whiteboard in Windhorst’s room says Russell Westbrook is still overrated. The ironic part about this is that they are using stats to prove his is overrated. Westbrook is criticized for stat-padding and many people make the case that the stats make him look better than he is.

Jalen Rose is standing by a table that has an hourglass. The hourglass represents time and Jalen Rose is well-known for using a timeout when he did not have one, ultimately costing Michigan the National Championship.

Next to Bill Simmons who is reading a book about the 1969 Celtics team is a section on Celtics Porn which has two books. The first is a book on the White Mamba, Brian Scalabrine. Scalabrine was not a good NBA player but one of the most memorable players in NBA history. There is also a book titled “Kevin ___ Nudes”. The word after Kevin is hard to read but it is most likely either McHale or Garnett

Windhorst’s Restricted Section

Windhorst has a restricted room with books on NBA history that have yet to be released. The following are some of his books.

Flu Game Toxicology Report: Michael Jordan’s flu game in the 1997 is one of the most impressive performances ever. However, many people believe he actually had a hangover rather than a flu. 

2002 Western Conference Report: One of the biggest NBA conspiracy theories is that the 2002 Western Conference Finals was rigged. The biggest market team in the Los Angeles Lakers beat a small market team in the Sacramento Kings. The Lakers attempted 27 free-throws in the 4th quarter leading many to believe the referee’s rigged it for the Lakers in order to raise viewership. 

The Frozen Envelope: Another famous conspiracy theory is that the 1985 draft lottery was rigged for the New York Knicks. Many believe that David Stern froze the Knicks envelope so he would know which envelope to pick and ultimately help the Knicks get back on top.

Thon Maker Age Theories: Thon Maker is listed at 23 year old. However, no one including him knows how old he is. 

Operation Twin Switch 2017 ECSF: The 2017 Estern Conference Semifinals featured the Celtics vs. the Wizards. The Celtics had Marcus Morris and the Wizards had Markieff Morris. The two are identical twins and even have the exact same tattoos. They have revealed there has been times where they have assumed the others identity for a day or two. This sparked the question: could they have switched teams?

Rule Exceptions Except for Star Knights: Many star players in the league receive preferential treatment from referees. Foul calls that other players would not get, are often given to stars such as LeBron James, Giannis Antetokounmpo and James Harden.

Dream Team

At the end the dream team makes an appearance. Barkley is wearing a suit that says dream and the #14. Patrick Ewing’s jersey is #6. Scottie Pippen’s jersey is #8. Michael Jordan’s jersey is #8. Those are the jersey numbers each wore on the dream team.

Come back next week to catch the details of next week’s Game of Zones episode!


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