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Who Does Bryson Dechambeau Remind You Of?

Picture courtesy of bunkered.co.uk

Sustained Childish Behaviour

Bryson DeChambeau is the Vontaze Burfict of the PGA Tour. He’s that kid in middle school that nobody likes because he would do something stupid every once in a while and not stop when everyone told him to. Sometimes calling him out would even increase the problematic behaviour.

“Timmy, stop licking the bottom of your shoe, it’s disgusting”, the kids would say, and Timmy would not only keep licking his shoe but also try to go kiss the girls on the cheek with his nasty shoe breath. It’s a classic cry for attention by a kid who doesn’t really know how else to command it.

Except that in this case, the problematic child is a 26 year old who happens to be one of the greatest golfers in the world. He doesn’t need his antics to get attention. He doesn’t realise that every man who’s ever been defeated by a golf course or shanked a drive 50 yard into the woods probably wants to be him. His game is a thing of beauty and other than his weird little hat nobody could hold nothing against him until he began his childish episodes.

On Tour Nonsense

He has a long list of accomplishment that would even make some of his peers jealous. He drives the ball a mile and is surgical with his irons. This year he even got jacked to add even more power to his game. The problem is that his list of naughty moments is as long as his list of attributes. He rammed his putter into a green in Mexico City. He destroyed the face of a bunker at the Genesis open in California. Last month he had a bullshit confrontation with a cameraman who was just doing his job.

And now the fire ants. This child got upset at not one but two rules officials for not giving him relief off a dangerous lie. His reason? Fire ants. Two of them, he said. They made it hazardous for him to hit his ball where it lay. Give us a break kid. You don’t need to make things worse for yourself because we told you to stop your nonsense last month at the Rocket Mortgage Classic.

Inside Bryson’s Mind

I’m no therapist and have no psychology background, but I can recognize people seeking attention for no other reason than they enjoy it. It is attention for the sake of attention.Most of these individuals seek it by acting out with nonsensical behaviour because they have absolutely nothing of value to offer and are mortified by the mere idea of being irrelevant, i.e. the Kardashians.

Bryson needs to understand that he has our attention. Every time he makes a top ten more and more people want to watch him because his game is filthy. He is an extraordinary golfer and should let his swing to the talking. He is 26 and needs to stop crying out for attention like some socialite whose only way of attracting eyeballs is to have a meltdown on TV.

Dude, you got our attention. No need for drama or nonsense. Just get up, chug your protein shake, go over the math and formulas in your yardage book, hit the course and ball out. We see you dawg.

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