NFL Power Rankings After Week Two

NFL Power Ten

1. New England Patriots (2-0) – It’s always the same. It’s the Patriots. Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, moving on. Hold on a sec…they have Antonio Brown also?

2. Kansas City Chiefs (2-0) – If Andy Reid can’t win a SuperBowl with Pat Mahomes, he should stop coaching.

3. Dallas Cowboys (2-0) – Wait, they got a new offensive coordinator in Kellen Moore? Maybe there is hope in Dallas after all.

4. St. Louis Rams(2-0) – Sean McVay and Aaron Donald.

5. Baltimore Ravens(2-0) – See I told you that playing the Dolphins made Lamar Jackson look better than…wait he did what in this game?

6. Seattle Seahawks(2-0) – Did Big Ben actually get injured or just put on a different number? Either way, we are still 2-0 baby!

7. Buffalo Bills(2-0) – Josh Allen led us to victory again!!! No Turnovers in this game. Maybe he will play well for two halves against the Bengals next week.

8. San Francisco 49ers(2-0) – Jimmy Garoppolo is now 10-2 as a starter. Just needed to get him healthy and all is good.

9. Green Bay Packers(2-0) – We have Aaron Rodgers, and you have Kirk Cousins. Also, the Sean McVay thing. 

10. Detroit Lions(1-0-1) – They are still considered undefeated. Also, Kenny Golladay is outstanding. That is all I got.

Are We For Real?

11. Los Angeles Chargers(1-1) – Dang, it did it again…not San Diego. Maybe I will get this right this season. Yeah and maybe next week they will have Melvin Gordon too (he says sarcastically).

12. New Orleans Saints(1-1) – Maybe the NFL needed 10,000 referees at the game in LA. I am sure Cameron Jordan wishes there were. Also, Drew Brees says bye for six-weeks.

13. Philadelphia Eagles(1-1) – Can we keep anyone healthy for a season? I mean seriously this is getting ridiculous.

14. Minnesota Vikings(1-1) – Even Kirk Cousins knows how bad he is right now. On the other hand, they still have  Dalvin Cook.

15. Houston Texans(1-1) – Damn, we almost lost to a guy porn sites want to rep. Is there anything else, really?

16. Oakland Raiders(1-1) – Maybe John Gruden is getting this thing moving in the right…it was the Broncos they beat? Forget it. (See we told you)

17. Indianapolis Colts(1-1) – Well, we fixed the defense. But now we broke Marlon Mack. We still have Jacoby Brissett.

18. Tennessee Titans(1-1) – Also, thanks for making our offense look great Baker Mayfield. Reality set in week two.

19. Chicago Bears(1-1) – We still have Mitch Trubisky. We also still have a great defense. The referees helping us out didn’t hurt either.

20. Cleveland Browns(1-1) – Thank god for the Jets!! Also, OBJ enjoyed being back in NY.

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers(1-1) – Bruce Arians is making Chris Godwin a star. Jameis Winston still a work in progress.

22. Atlanta Falcons(1-1) – We’re not 0-2. So there is that.

23. Arizona Cardinals(0-1-1) – Kyler Murray makes Larry Fitzgerald feel young again.

We’re Only 0-2

24. Pittsburgh Steelers(0-2) – Big Ben is breakable. It’s Mason Rudolph time.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars(0-2) – Let’s see the Dolphins got a first-round pick for Minkah. Ok, don’t listen to Jalen Ramsey and give us one of those.

26. New York Jets(0-2) – We went out and got the best running back money could buy. Can he play quarterback? That’s not happening.

27. Cincinnati Bengals(0-2) – The passing game seems to be working. Now, how do we win a game?

28. Carolina Panthers(0-2) – Christian McCaffery is still healthy. The inevitable “we trust our backup” speech.

29 Denver Broncos(0-2) – We should be 1-1 right now. You’re right, but you still have Joe Flacco at quarterback.

30. Washington Redskins(0-2) – Why did we draft Dwayne Haskins again?

31. NY Giants(0-2) – We still have Saquon. Bye Eli, Hello, Daniel Jones.

32. Miami Dolphins – We will have all the 2020 first rounders before the season is over.

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